"What if?"

Call me crazy, but I am the only person that gets absolutely freaked out about thinking of my future?

It's not exactly something people can say "Just don't think about it!", because you HAVE to think about it. It's your future!

Lately I've been doing a lot of thinking, like what am I going to do after high school? Can I do that? Where am I going to live? How am I going to pay my bills? Who's going to help me? Am I going to get married? What kind of guy will I get married to? Will I have kids? What if I don't? Who's going to take care of me I am old and can't bathe myself? Will I be in a nursing home? Who's going to visit me? How will I die? WILL I make it in life? Am I going to be okay?

Thinking this has absolutely TERRIFIED me lately. It has put me in this stressed out mood for weeks.

My problem is I keep thinking ''What If''. What if I don't get married? What if I'm miserable? What if I don't finish college? What if I'm not a successful doctor? WHAT IF?!

I cannot just stop the "What If" scenarios, though. It's caused so much stress and anxiety that I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't keep a simple conversation going. It's putting a huge downer on the present and I feel like a 'Debbie Downer'.

BUT, I have been doing a lot of reading lately, and even though I'll probably stress about it non-stop till the day I die, here's some steps to help cope with the anxiety if you're going through something similar.

1. Stay in the NOW, don't let yourself drift off in a negative scenario. Aware yourself right now you ARE okay. It's okay to be a tad stressed out here and there, but letting it over rule your current life is not okay.

2. "You can have thoughts, but you don't have to think them." In other words, it's okay to be aware of what to expect or not to expect, but letting it fulfill your entire mind is going to be stress on you. Be aware of things, just don't let them take over your every thought.

3. Try and concentrate on what you DO want, and work towards those goals. For example, I want to be a psychologist, therefor I'm doing the best in school and keep racking up every scholarship that I can get.

4. 90% of the things we worry about, never happen. The other 10% are things that could have never been changed.

5. Imagine that your 70-80 years old, and you're looking back on your life wishing you wouldn't have spent to much time worrying about the future and wasted so much precious life away. So STOP worrying, because the time you finally stop, you are going to be too old to live a little. Unless of course your idea of living is playing chess with some old guy with snot running out of his nose.


If you've ever experienced this type of anxiety and are/have been stressed out about what your life has in store, leave some comments! Let me know how this helped and/or you plan to overcome this!

Teen Suicide.

Everyone hits rock bottom at one point. Solid rock bottom. Everyone feels like they can't get back up and that it's just too overwhelming. From experience, I understand. How it feels to fall face first on to solid concrete, and how you just don't even want to bother getting back up because, what's the point? They'll just knock you back down anyways, so there is no point. You think that it would be better to just stay put, and let everyone get to you. I understand how hard it is to be in a situation like that.

Congratulations, you got to me. You pushed me down at my lowest of the low. Do you fell satisfied? Do you honestly get JOY out of that? Because if you do, you're one sick bastard. 

Not saying that I would consider this, or that I have considered this, but it's people like you that make teens commit suicide. 

How would you feel if your the reason that poor little Susan stopped coming to school? Or if your the reason that little ole' Johnny's parents are constantly crying, wondering why their son couldn't come to them about this? So that maybe, just maybe, they could have helped. Do you think them knowing would have spared him is life? Because I don't. I feel like that when you are in a situation like that, you pretty much don't care what everyone else has to say, or the advice they have to give. Because once it's crossed your mind, you're mind is made up. Now, I wouldn't know. But, I'm just saying. How would you feel?

Because in all honesty, I hope it kills you. And I hope that it eats away at your conscience every single day for the rest of your life. Maybe you don't know what it feels like to lose a loved one, or too lose a friend over something like this. But believe me, there are plenty of people out there that do.  Including me. 

So there you go, world. There you have it. You have successfully hurt someone so much that they couldn't handle it. KUDOS TO YOU, MURDERER. 

And on another note, when you purposely do something to someone, knowing that they are already hurt enough, and you know that they've gone through a lot as it is, you're sick. And I hope you burn in hell for what ever it is that you've done/do. And everything that happens to you, you have it coming. You deserve it. Every single bit of it. because guess what? God is looking out for that person that you just hurt. They just gained brownie points with the man upstairs, and you've just bought yourself with a one-way ticket to Hell. 

So, have fun hurting people. I hope it's all worth it in the end. When everyone turns on you because one of those people you've hurt, gives up, I hope you regret it. 

As for me, ONE of those people you've mindlessly hurt, I'm still smiling. And I'm still stronger than you will ever be. I've got God on my side, and with him anything is possible. 

Does that make you happy, now? To know that I'm STILL smiling as I type this? 

"Things get worse before they get better."

                                                                              -anonymous

Congratulations, Home-wrecker.

It's not the fact that you and your boyfriend didn't work out, it's the fact there was a little slut that came along and ruined it all. 

TO THAT SLUT, 

It's not okay to meddle in someone else's relationship. If you want a boyfriend so bad, go out and find one. But under NO circumstances should you ever talk to someone that has a girlfriend, and expect them to drop her for you. It's one thing to do that, and keep quiet. But it's another to do it and flaunt about it because you want his girlfriend to find out, and you want them to break up, it's wrong. Either way it's completely wrong. 

And then to do that, AND talk about that girl every chance that gets thrown out at you is beyond insane. 

TO THE GIRL WHO'S RELATIONSHIP WAS RUINED BY A SLUT,

The door swings both ways, honey. She did it, but he did it to. He could have have easily said "Woah chick back up, I have a girlfriend." But no, he was all for it because he's a nasty horny douche bag just like all the other typical high school boys. Odds are he doesn't care. He's going take whatever piece of a$$ gets thrown at him, and enjoy it to the fullest. The slut was wrong for talking to him, but he's wrong for letting her. 

TO THE HORNY DOUCHE,

You messed up, big. Do not expect your girlfriend to gain any trust for you whatsoever, you are now a perfidious idiot. You've shattered any trust she may have had for you. And don't think that you can run back to the slut and think everything is okay, because now everyone hates her because of you so odds are she's going to hate you for that now too. You had a good girlfriend, and you ruined it. So pay the time for the crime, cheater. NEVER disrespect a girl like that, especially a girl that actually cares for you and your pathetic life.

(A P.S. NOTE TO THE SLUT) 

Odds are you have a low self esteem to even be going for someone that is already taken, when you know that he just wants to just keep you his dirty little secret. In all honesty, you would have probably been better off staying his ''little secret'', because now he's going to hate you for ruining things with his real girlfriend. And not only does he hate you, but that girl hates you, and her friends are going to hate you. Even people that have heard rumors about it are going to hate you. Because you are now known as that slutty girl that gets with every one's boyfriends. Even if you DON'T get with girl's boyfriends, you just did that one time, you are now labeled for the rest of high school. Think twice the next time you decide to destroy a perfectly in-tact relationship, home-wrecker. 

Get up and go.

Ever just want to get away? Just get in the car and go.

I don't care where I'm going, I just want to go somewhere. I want to get out and go. I want to leave in a cute truck, I want to have the windows rolled down and my hair up in a bun, sitting in the passanger side in my sweats and just ride. I want to kick up my feet on the dash board and feel the sun on the tips of my toes. I want to listen to mix tapes the whole way there, whever 'there' is. I want to take pictures of anything and everything, and I want to write everything down so that I can re-read it over and over again. I want to take a trip to anywhere new, and different. I want some change even if it's just for a little bit. To go on the road trip of my life. It doesn't matter where I'm going.. it doesn't matter how long it takes me to get there, I just want to be there. Making memories. I don't want to look back, we could just keep driving forever and ever and make stops on the way. It'll be an adventure. I want to take a big blanket for the nights that are cold and the windows are down and it's getting chilly. I just want to laugh, and not have a care in the world about anything that we're leaving behind. It doesn't matter to me. As long as I'm with you, it really doesn't matter. ♥

It's life, and life goes on.

When your heart breaks, it shatters. Not only does it fall to the pit of your stomach into a million different pieces, it falls hard.. making every muscle and every bone in your body ache.
It's quite funny actually.. 'They' say broken hearts are just a mental pain.. until you actually go through it you don't realize how physical it is. It's not psychological.. it can't be.. if it was, explain why it makes your head hurt? Or your legs? Explain why you feel sick? So sick that you actually throw up out of nowhere some days. It's this ill feeling that you get, and no matter how much migraine medicine that you take, or Pepto Bismol, your head will still hurt and your stomach will be still be heavy where your heart has crashed. Tell me what is psychological about that? I'm not imagining myself throwing up, and I'm not imagining being hurt. If I was just ''imagining'' it it would be so much simpler. Then, I could just stop. I could just stop imagining how much pain I'm in and I could be okay.
But it isn't that simple. Instead, you hate everything and everyone, and you hate yourself.

You've had your heart broken before, this is nothing new to you. But, every time it happens it feels like it's all happening for the first time. You can recite everything over the broken relationship and you're just reading and thinking of bad news over and over again. The thing about having it all written down, or typed up, is when you read it you feel like you're reading it for the first time, and you're just receiving that bad news over and over and over again.. And it somehow manages to hurt just as much as it did the first time.
You don't cry, you don't freak out.. it hasn't hit you yet.
The next day comes, and you wake up.. realizing that you have no one to call and say good morning too. There isn't anyone to walk you into school and to your classes and to carry your books for you. When you wake up, it hits you.

But you're smiling, and you're okay. That's the impression you are giving to everyone else. It hasn't affect you, it hasn't put a hold on anything, you're life is just as good as it was before.
But is it, really? Is it okay?

When you put all of your hope into something, and you have it thrown back into your face, it affects you. So many people are oblivious to how it can, and that just makes it worse.
You have the people that are going to say "It'll be okay, it's okay." You know it'll eventually be okay. It's not like you are going to sit in your room for the rest of your life and cry over your high school boyfriend. Or are you?
No, you're not. But for the time being, it's not okay. And you are going to cry over that high school boyfriend.

You don't exactly have friends to turn to like you did during your first heart break. You kinda thought that the worst was over with, and it was going to work out this time! I mean, there's no way it wouldn't! You have you "first love", then you have your "second", and that's suppose to be it! Because everything is suppose to go right after that, and you're suppose to be happy.

But that isn't what happens. Instead you've given up every friend and best friend you have to focus and revolve around a relationship you've put every once of hope ad faith you had left into to. So, you're kinda dealing with it on your own, with no help from anyone. You have the few people that reach out, and they try to talk to you.. and you honestly try to talk to them. But you can't, you don't know how to explain to them how much it hurts and why it hurts. They weren't in YOUR relationship. They don't understand the little things that you did for each other that made you so happy, or the way you got so mad at yourself for falling asleep in the middle of a conversation, they don't understand it like you do. The only person that can understand is, well, him. And you just think, if he understood, how could this happen? It's this question that's just in the back of your head, your whole head actually, and you can't answer it.

The answer to your question, dear, will never be answered. It's something that you have to learn to live with. You have to accept the things that you cannot change. Don't sit around and hate everyone and everything, and don't hate yourself. I promise that it's not going to get you anywhere, and it's not going to change a thing. Things are going to happen that you don't like, it's going to happen out of nowhere. It's life, and life goes on.

Oh the irony.

This is dedicated to Asia Parker Jones, the strongest girl I'll ever know. A true inspiration for every teen!

I'm amazed at the amount of stupidity that these teenage boys can carry in their tiny messed up heads. Are you insane? Do you need medication?
Here you are, sitting right in front of the BEST thing that is ever going to happen to you, and you have the nerve to straight face lie about the most idiotic things. Why would you dare lie to someone you "love"? To someone that you want to "marry"? Yes, that REALLY shows us that we mean so much to you. NOT. You people are the most retarded kids I've ever met in my life. You act like you need to be spoon fed, and told when you've done something wrong. DOUCHE BAG YOU KNOW YOU'VE DONE WRONG IF YOU TRY AND HIDE IT. Don't act all innocent just because your stank self got caught. If we put up with all you're bull nanny it's because we love you, you idiot! Just because we give you a second chance that doesn't mean go and see if you can get a 3rd or 4th or even 5th! It means you best get your act together and learn from the first mistake or your things will be sitting on the front porch. Do not ever test your limits, liar. After we give you that second chance, you better be doing all in your power to make it up to us. Which includes the following, but not limited to:

• Flowers on my door step.
• Love notes in my locker.
• I want a "Baby, I'm so stupid, I'm sorry I ever did wrong to you. I love you with everything." at LEAST 5 times a day.
• Chocolate, duh. And lots of it. You have to mend my broken heart.
• I definitely don't want to wait and hour for your response on a text, are you crazy? Get to typing! Better yet, call me.
• etc.

I mean, if you're really going to mess up the best thing in your pathetic life, do it for something worth it, which if you think anything is worth risking your relationship then why are you even trying? At least have the brains to fix it the first time.. don't wait around thinking you're going to get chance after chance.
After awhile, we just give up. Move on to bigger and better things, and leave you behind. Way behind.

Hello, High School

Yippee! It's back to school, and the drama begins.
This is for the newbies of high school, the little freshman I shall say.
High school is so exciting, before you get there of course. It's like the day before school starts you are so amped and ready to be in high school, then after the first week it's like the next 4 years can't come any slower. Welcome to high school. That's normal, I promise you aren't completely crazy. When I was coming into high school I thought the whole "it only gets worse in high school" thing was a stereotype. Boy was I wrong; things do get worse in high school. The grades become more harsh, the girls back stab, and the boys.. well, they're boys. And to top it all off, all the upperclassmen are looking at you like poop on their shoe. Why? Because you're a freshman. Unfortunately, that's going to happen my dear. Don't ask me why, it just does. The friends that you were always friends with seem to drift father from you, people seem to care less and less, it happens. It's like some disease that every girl gets when entering high school. I've been there, my freshman year was packed full of heartbreaks and drama. And everyone says "these people won't matter in 10 years." Well, NEWSFLASH, that's 10 years from now. We're in the present and right now it freaking matters! All I can say is to keep up with the people that have been there for you. It's okay to venture out and make new friends, just make sure that you don't let the old ones go. Trust me, you are going to want them to be there for you at some point or another. And for the boys, sweetheart, they'll break your heart. Get used to it, as harsh as that sounds it's true. You are going to cry over boys more than once in your life, and that is not going to be the only heartbreak you'll ever go through. You're going to be okay, though. Stop stressing over it and go get some ice cream with your friends! High school sucks, honey. Your future depends on the things you do in high school and it's so hard to keep up with all the unbearable drama, and backstabbing girls, and douche bag boys. It gets better, I PROMISE. Take it from someone that has been down that road. Keep you're head up, beautiful, there are people that would kill to see you fall. And try, just try, to make the best of high school.

Don't do it.

Okay, ladies. We ALL know how hard it is not to go back to the cowardly douche bags that broke our hearts. Despite the harsh things they say that you'd never think could come out their mouths, you still want to get back together with them. What we fail to realize that we're degrading ourselves and looking completely idiotic by going back to them. STAY AWAY. It's better to be single than to be in a relationship that was already torn apart. You know it's not going to last, so why are you going back? You know that you're never going to forget all the things he said to you, it's burned into your head. So why are you going back? Most of us go back because you are scared of being single, walking into school by yourself, etc. It's not THAT bad, it just takes some time getting used to. Trust me, I know. I've been there. Restrain from lowering yourself to that level. Because honey, once you do, he's going to think he can get away with anything and everything and that you're always going to forgive him for whatever it is he does to you. And truth is, you would. He could cheat and straight face lie and you're still going to forgive him. SUCK UP YOUR PRIDE AND END IT. Then, give it time. He's going to come back, sooner or later he will come back. And he's going to regret ever treating you the way he did. He's going to realize that you've moved on to better things and he's going to kick himself in the nut sack for not treating you like a princess. Be independent, and strong. It's okay to cry and to be hurt, just don't go running back.

What's it like?

Today someone asked me what it felt like to be in love, and I ended up replying with a 5 page text message and had to reword it to make it much shorter. So guess what this blog is about?!

I love having something to look forward to everyday, and I love the "good morning" texts and random drop by's. The little things that we do for each other just to make the other one smile, like putting a horrid color on your braces just because it's his favorite football team, or actually wearing the logo even though the color just doesn't work with you. Or painting your nails his favorite color. How he's so tall so you have to get up on the tips of your toes just to kiss him. How your hands are just so tiny compared to his. Or you're like Capser the ghost, and he looks like someone that just walked off Jersey Shore, and how he makes fun of you for it. Or how if you act mad at him he just starts to tickle you, even though he knows you hate it. How he takes your sunglasses, and then lets you wear his when it's really bright outside. The feeling you get when he's on his way over. Or how he carries you across the deep end of the pool. How we plan our whole life together. How we can be with each other every minute of every day and the moment we aren't together we already miss each other like it's been months. When you catch yourself saving sweet texts from him in your phone just so you can read them again when he falls asleep on you. Most girls are so concerned with how they look when they're around their boyfriend, but now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever legitimately done my hair or anything when I hang out with him.. and he still calls me beautiful. How he'll watch The Secret Life of an American Teenager with me, and ask questions about it the entire time just to sound intrested. How he gets me green tea just because I'm craving it. He'll do anything in the world for me and I love it. I love him, so much.

Next to getting your nails and hair done, it's the best feeling in the world.

Just Shut Up.

I'm sick of 'attention seekers'. I can't be the only one that is tired of logging onto Facebook everyday and seeing people post the most insane things! Why must you feel the need to announce everything about your sucky depressed life all over my news feed? Huh? I don't care if you have no friends, if you are abused, or if ya momma hates you. And guess what? Neither does anyone else! If you're ugly, DEAL. Stop posting all over Facebook about how much you hate your life and want to kill yourself. I'm tired of seeing that. And yes, I understand that I can just delete them, but if everyone did that the kid wouldn't have any 'facebook friends'.
That's just Facebook though, you still have your 'real life' attention seekers. The ones that make scenes like:

• I'm drunk so I'm going to knock over everything.
• I'm pregnant.
• I cry in public so people stare.
• I broke my arm, so I put an ace bandage on it.
• I was raped.
• I cut myself, wanna see my scars?
• I get high to forget my sucky life.
• I have cancer.

Which I don't understand why anyone would lie about any of that? If you think that's cute I recommend therapy. You obviously have some serious issues that hopefully a doctor can help you with. That's insane. Why can't you just be normal and not want all eyes and attention on you? You are fishing for compliments over the Internet, give it a rest. Nobody cares, and if anybody even acts like they do it's because it's 3am and they can't sleep. We all understand, you're emo, you cut yourself, nobody understands you. Okay, okay. No need to post about it every 10 minutes though. Stop posting pictures of your cuts, and/or razors on Facebook. Or your bruise marks from your hateful mother/father. CALL A HELP LINE YOU IDIOT.
I recommend this custom made for you!http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hrX3HQh4fnk/TOEOOSpwVnI/AAAAAAAACBw/iouwUS9YgSw/s400/attention_seeking_t_shirt-p2351416196689425891hok_400.jpg

But, seriously, shut up.

Teen Issues, say what?

I've been getting a lot of requests lately about teen issues with so many different topics.

• Body Image
• Teenage Pregnancy
• Weight Struggles
• etc.

It surprises me how self conscious some people are, beautiful people! Some one's image means everything to them, don't let them fool you! What you say, is really impacting their next choice of outfit!

Body Image, I don't know a single girl that doesn't want perfect hair and to be skinny. I've never in my short life met a person that wants to be fat, or have greasy hair. Why you don't shower is beyond me, but hey, whatever floats your boat! If someone doesn't have the 'picture perfect' body image, don't be rude about. It's not like we can all look like Taylor Swift or Drew Barrymore. Your body image can be whatever YOU want it to be. If you have fat genes, girl, get to the gym! You have to TRY to look like you want to look. Do your hair, makeup, and your nails. Wear clothes that don't make you look so homeless, too. Stop expecting to just roll out of bed looking spectacular, because nobody does! The girls in movies, well they're in MOVIES you idiot!

Teenage Pregnancy, Maybe it's just me or condoms and birth control aren't doing their job. Teens are getting pregnant left and right, it seems like. It's like, do you know what safe sex is?! I mean, c'mon. We learn about this stuff in like 5th grade. Even then they tell you, "I know you're 10 years old but here is what a condom is. Use this when having sexual intercourse." Now now, I can understand that sometimes condoms break, or your birth control fails. Or heck, you decided to use the "pull out" method and well, he just didn't do that. I'M not judging you, but people will. People that don't know you are going to think the worst of you. So, before you spit out a kid at 16. READ MY BLOG!

Weight Struggles, Dude, I get it. It's hard to have a sexy body like me. But, you're never going to have it unless you get off of the Internet and do something about it! Sometimes I see these just overweight people, and I mean overweight. Not that little chunky stuff, I mean 'I can't even walk around the grocery store so let me get this electric wheelchair' overweight. I stuns me how people can let go of themselves like that, even if I tried I couldn't look like that! There are so many people that are a little "overweight", doesn't mean they aren't beautiful. I know quite a few chunks that are gorgeous. Don't expect to be amazingly slim after like 2 weeks of dieting, though. You have diet the right way. Not licking the spoon when you fix ice cream does not count as dieting. Get up, exercise and eat right. Then, sit down, eat some 'Special K', and enjoy my blog. (:

Getting a Grip on Reality.

Sometimes I look at the cover girl articles plastered all over my room and wonder, "How come SHE gets to be so perfect?"
It's not like you ever see an ugly person on the cover of a magazine. And if you do it's one of those stupid "Family Fun" magazines that generally only doctors offices buy. (Which nobody ever reads, you just look at the pictures so you don't look all awkward just sitting there.)
For example, I go grocery shopping and I'm standing in line with my mom and i read "50 Sex Positions and how to lose weight!" on the cover of a People magazine. Like WHAT IS THAT?! I'm a sophomore, not some middle aged sex addict. For one, you're telling me I'm fat and need to lose weight and then you're giving me 50 sex positions. Whoa, slow down there buddy.
Then it makes you sick seeing all these picture perfect, actress/singer teenagers on the cover of a magazine.

Every girl wants to be pretty, and perfect, and wants all eyes are her. They want to stand out.
But, what every teenage girl fails to realize is that you CAN stand out, in your own way. They edit magazine pictures, even the fat chicks are drop dread gorgeous! I honestly find girls that are pretty in there own way more attractive. When you dress like your personality it makes you, you. Not some barbie doll that doesn't even get to pick out her own outfit or eye shadow. Who wants that? And heck, if you're ugly and personality won't fix it, at least you're standing out!

And sex, so many girls are having it. And the pressure is obviously getting worse because even in middle school you're having to deal with the it. DON'T. Be that one girl that can actually say "Hey, I have my virginity." So many teens can't say that, and you're going to be proud to say that later in life. Don't let some horny bastard talk you into giving away the only thing that is truly yours. Push him away if he pressures you for that, I mean literally deck him in the face, honey! That is YOURS. And it's nobody's until YOU are ready to give it away. (Which I recommend marriage, but face it; That won't happen.) If he loves you as much as he says he does when he's trying to get inside your pants, he'll love you the same when you say no. And if he doesn't, ON TO THE NEXT ONE HORNY DOUCHE.

I hate seeing girls that do drugs. After so long, you can see the difference in their faces. Drugs make you ugly as hell. I know it feels like you're flying for a couple hours and that's just so amazing because everyone wants to be able to fly. But, in the long run you just end up like a drug addict who can't afford to pay the rent because she spends all her money on weed, cocaine, etc.
Like this girl.
http://mydrugrehab.info/wp-content/uploads/1306100477-59.jpg
Just after a year and half, look how much her face changed. She was a darn pretty lady too. Now, she's ugly. If I was a guy, I'd be the one to say "Oh, I love you." just to get in her pants then leave her like a horny douche bag which is probably what lead her to drugs in the first place.
Have the willpower to say NO.

"Once you accept the fact that you're not perfect, then you develop some confidence."  ~Rosalynn Carter

Breaking up is hard to do.

The number one cause of stress in teenage girls are break ups.
I mean, you pretty much could've guessed that one.. right? It's just the obvious answer, of course. Because we have ALL been through them. We've all been the "dumpee" at some point, and if you haven't than your boobs must be made of gold or something! Girls are always so upset over breakups, even if you were dumped by someone you didn't even like. Why? Because it's embarrassing. Who wants to be dumped by someone, much less and ugly person? NO ONE. So you're not alone, sweetie. We all go through them. Here are some steps to getting over and through what you think is the most tragic event ever.

Step one: Cry, because it is okay to cry. Now I wouldn't make some big scene in a parking lot at the mall of course, but cry in your bathroom. Cry in your car. Cry somewhere will no one will see you. Because odds are, you have an ugly crying face. Don't do it in public.

Step two: Stuff your face with as much fatty foods as possible and enjoy it. What do you have to lose? You just got dumped honey, go ahead and eat.

Step three: Print out a picture of the ''dumper'' and put it on your wall. (No, you're not going to stare at it and cry even more.) Draw all up on that picture perfect douchebag, baby!

Step four: Put on your best clothes, and no. Don't you dare put on a mini skirt and shirt where you boobs are hanging out.. that'll only make him glad he left ya when he did. Look classy and sexy. And to spice things up, do one of those little "Bend and Snap" things that we all see in those Legally Blonde movies, just for some giggles.

And lastly, Step five: Move on. Start talking to someone different, in a different crowd. Not for him, but for you. Actually give it a shot baby. Once you go through my wonderful steps, you don't need to stress and cry anymore.
Stress causes pimples, ya know.

Cyber Douchebags.

We all have Facebooks, and Twitters, and god forbid Formsprings.
And we have all abused the privilege, Even I have. But do we really think about how it's hurting the other person? In a way, we do. Why else would we be doing it? To boost their confidence? No. We do it to hurt, we just don't realize at the time how MUCH we are hurting someone. And for most of us, that wasn't our intention. I mean it was, just not that much. You wouldn't believe the amount of teenagers that commit suicide over being called "fat" or "ugly" or a "whore". We don't think of that as a big deal because it's not happening to us. But what about the people that it IS happening to? It's hurting them. They are going to sit up at night and cry and wonder why they were chosen to be picked on. To be made fun of and ridiculed.
Do any of you know how hard it is to walk into school and pretend it doesn't bother you?

Because I do. I'm sure everyone that reads this will remember the picture that went around about me on Formspring. My conversation with an unsaid person.
Do any of you guys know how that made me feel? To have to sit there and watch everyone respond to that? I could've died right then and there. And going to school. I had 2nd lunch. Walking in there and thinking that every time you see someone whisper you think they're talking about you. And when someone laughs it's because they are laughing at you. That was my mind set. That's what I thought everyday for awhile. You're so embarrassed. When I would log into my Formspring I would get sick to my stomach, literally. The hatemail would literally make me sick. It's not what the conversation said, it's that it was put out their for everyone to see to hurt me. Congratulations, it worked. Some people could have cared less but then again some people would use that to every advantage. That was going to be something that any one and everyone would use against me. I remember crying to my mom, wanting to move schools and just start over and leave everything behind. I wanted to run away from what was done to me. I hated Hanahan and I hated everyone in it. I hated my friends. Then I was called a 'pussy' for having my mom as my best friend, for going to her. She didn't understand what I was going through at all, but she was there for me on a level that no one can understand. "These people aren't going to matter after High School."
I started to write quotes on a sticky notes and I stuck them behind my door so I'd see them everyday. Every day I read them. I still read them. It got me through a lot, my friends got me through a lot. Going to Colorado and having a break from everything got me through a lot.

You don't know what you do to people when you post stuff on Facebook/Formspring/Twitter or whatever.
"Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
Whoever said that obviously had never been publicly humiliated. They were wrong.
Words do hurt.

Oh, so you're in love?

We all crave that "High School Sweetheart", admit it. We see those cute relationships walking hand in hand and we want that more than anything. We want people to look at us and be jealous of our relationship. We all do. Especially girls. But why? Can anyone give me a legit good reason as to why?
I can.
We think that if we don't have a boyfriend or a girlfriend that there's this empty void in our life that just doesn't ever seem to stay filled. You're in and out of relationships more than you change your underwear and everytime it seems to just get harder and harder. You feel like your whole world is going to just fall apart because one boy. Or mulitple boys. You start checking your phone even though you know he isn't going to text you. You start wondering why you weren't good enough, and you sit in bed and think about it all night and run what you could've done differently through your head. You start to stalk his Facebook wall and ask his friends about him.
Sweetie, give up. Stop giving the time of day, if he was worth it he wouldn't do that to you. I know that what I'm saying probably doesn't even matter to you, because you're just that much in love that nothing can make you feel any less heart broken. If you feel that way; stop reading now.

This is for the girls that WANT to be over it. That want to move on and go back to the way things were before him. I know it's hard, and its not going to get easier anytime soon. So congratualtions for continuing to read this blog. It means you're trying. But I promise, you'll look back on this and you're going to realize what you were giving up all along. The life you were just throwing away because of him. It may take a awhile, months, a year, or even years. But it'll happen, baby. That cowardly bastard isn't going to put a hold on your life forever. Just because he can't stay commited or he's to young to be tied down does NOT mean that there isn't someone out there who isn't. It'll happen. Stop looking for one. Because the minute you actually stop, it'll all start to fall in place. Get your mind off of things. Surround yourself with your friends. Make plans and get out and do something! Delete his number. You probably won't, but that's step one. If you're real about this.. do it. It works, believe me it does. Next, block him from Facebook. So that you don't have to see him or what he posts. Don't just delete him, BLOCK HIM. So that he'll never have to cross your mind more than he already does. When he gets a new girlfriend, don't automatically hate her. Act like they aren't even dating.. I understand that's hard to do to. But suck it up, and do it.
One day, he's going to realize what he lost. He's going to call and say he misses you. That he wants to "go back in time", wishes he never did the things he did to you.
When that happens, it'll be your turn to say no. To laugh at him and tell him to get over it.
And you'll feel darn good doing it, baby. Darn good.

For Starters.

I'm not exactly positive on what exactly is I'm doing with this whole "blogging" thing, but hey! It's my first blog! Eeek! Let's all hope for my personal sake that I get better at this with time. Basically, this is my internet publically viewable diary.. I'm to lazy to write everything down in a little book and honestly, I'd like to share my opinons with the world, in other words.. the people that i'll probably blog about in the early future so that they can catch a hint.
Anyway! More about me :) I'm a sophomore that seems to hate drama more than anything yet I'm always involved. Hmm. I don't know why I keep a formspring account because it makes me annoyed your so called "peers" anonymously write you hatemail about how you're so fake yet their the ones behind anonymous.. Hmm again.

Things that annoy more than you possibly do:
- Those typical two-faced girls in High School.
- Boys that are attracted to a girls boobs rather her face.
- DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA, seriously girls, save it for ya momma.
- Attention seekers! Uhg, get lives ladies and gentleman.
- Girls that are constantly fishing for compliments. (you know you're perfect! shut the hell up already!)
- Those girls that have creepy crushes on your boyfriend, get over it. He's mine.
- I think it's akward when guys have drama. (This isn't a pet peeve, I've just always wanted to state that.)
- The fact you can't ever really call someone your best friend in High School, they're all fake. And they mess around with your boyfriends and expect everything to be peachy because they say sorry, get over yourself.
- When someone has the nerve to tell me I'm doing something wrong. Hello! I'm a perfectionist.
- When people tell me that I can't do something, it just makes me want to do it more to prove you wrong. (cough cough, to everyone who though i wouldn't make varsity. IN YOUR FACE.)
- Just because I was friends with upperclassmen freshman year, I was instantly labeled as a tryhard.
- When someone says I can't be a model, haha. I will be. COVERGIRL.
- The girls that wear extremely padded bras, you're only setting your boyfriend up for disappointment sweetheart.

 Okay, talking about everything that annoys me, is starting to really annoy me.
I'm sure you're hear more about the drama-filled sucky life I live later on.

<3